Building Rapport

Have you ever met someone who just seems to effortlessly connect with others? They create a sense of trust and understanding almost instantly, no matter who they meet.

Building rapport isn’t just for those in certain professions or positions; it’s a valuable skill for everyone. When you have a good rapport with someone, they’re often more inclined to support your goals and help you succeed.

Some might think that building rapport is a natural talent, but that’s not the whole truth. While some people may have an easier time with it, anyone can develop and improve this skill with practice, just like any other ability.

What Is Rapport?

Rapport is the foundation of meaningful and harmonious relationships. It’s that sense of connection you feel when you meet someone you like and trust, and whose perspective you understand. It’s the bond that forms when you discover you share similar values and priorities.

When rapport is established, you experience:

• Mutual attentiveness: Both of you are fully engaged and interested in each other.
• Positivity: There’s a friendly, happy vibe, with genuine care and concern for one another.
• Coordination: You feel “in sync” with similar energy levels, tone, and body language.

Rapport can develop quickly when you “click” with someone or build gradually over time. It can grow naturally or be intentionally cultivated.

Beyond simply being a relationship-building tool, rapport is crucial for success. It makes it easier to influence others, share ideas, and create opportunities, as people are more likely to collaborate and support someone they feel connected to.

Rapport is like trust. While rapport focuses on creating a bond, trust is about building a reputation for reliability and consistency.

How to Build Rapport

Since rapport is a two-way street, you can’t create it alone, but you can learn how to encourage it. Here are some key steps:

1. Basic Communication Skills
   • Be culturally appropriate.
   • Smile.
   • Relax.
   • Remember names.
   • Maintain good posture.
   • Listen attentively.
   • Don’t overstay your welcome.

These basics form the groundwork for great communication. They help establish trust and show that you’re genuinely interested in the other person.

2. Find Common Ground
   • Use small talk to discover shared interests or experiences.
   • People generally enjoy talking about themselves. Showing genuine interest can help them open up.
   • Ask open-ended questions about their experiences, hobbies, or background to find commonalities.

Be sincere. Don’t pretend to share interests just to connect, as it can come off as insincere and damage your credibility.

Humor can build rapport, but be cautious. What’s funny to you might not be to someone else, so avoid risky jokes or sarcasm.

3. Create Shared Experiences

   • Engage in activities or projects together. This can be as simple as attending an event or as involved as working on a project.
   • Shared experiences help strengthen your connection and build rapport through collaboration.

4. Show Empathy

   • Try to see things from the other person’s perspective and recognize their emotions.
   • Ask open-ended questions to learn about their likes, dislikes, needs, and challenges. Listen carefully and respond thoughtfully.
   • Balance the conversation so both parties share equally.

5. Mirror and Match

   • People tend to connect better with those who seem similar to them.
   • Match their temperament, language style, and speech patterns, such as tone and pace.
   • Be subtle; don’t mimic every move, as this can seem artificial or offensive. Aim for a natural synchronization of behavior.

Practice mirroring in everyday interactions. It’s a skill we often use unconsciously with people close to us.